by
ponchi101 For those moments in which we really wonder why we play this game. Actually, for when we wonder if life is worth living, like when going up two sets to none and one break, only to see it all washed away in a wave of 120 unforced errors
by ponchi101 On this day, Monday 8th of January 2021 (Tuesday 9th in Australia), a bandwagon of 44 innocent souls found themselves as passengers of a madman driving a Mercedes bus down an autobhan, brakes be damned, in the dark. Jan Lenard Struff, a man that defines his game with power, found himself like a metaphor of a Porsche in a mud field. This is a man that has one philosophy: if you hit a ball too hard and it landed way out of the court, the solution is simple: hit it harder.
Jan-Lenard simply is made of the wrong struff. He reminds of another Teutonic figure, the philosopher Kurt Gödel. Gödel developed a special theorem which proves that in any formal system, there will always be propositions that cannot be proven right or wrong. Struff follows that pattern: the easiest sitter or the toughest passing shot are met with the same level of uncertainty, the same degree of madness for the spectator. Gödel, who finished his life mad, would approve. Struff, who has decided to begin his life in lunacy, is undecided still.
Surprisingly, one person picked Struff's opponent. The name of this sadistic person, who obviously knew something and did not share that info, will remain lost in the myth of this site. His laughter, however, will reverberate in the ears of the dead 44, still screaming as they fall forever down the legendary Cliffs of Insanity surrounding the Sea of Despair at TAT2.0.
May their souls be spared the eternal flames. Or, at least, may them sleep well tonight.
by Ribbons Two words: Aravane Rezai
by ponchi101 Oh, if we were to go that way we basically have to write down all the players in both tours.
But we will start making our new history here. Those great moments in TAT1.0 will be in lore...
by ptmcmahon This thread shouldn't be 24 hours old without mention of Bondarenko.
by the Moz How about Gasquet??
by
dave g One of the most successful crashing of a bandwagon was managed by Caroline Wozniacki. I can't remember the year, but it was the first round of Wimbledon. She had be ranked number 1 the previous year, and one of the posted mentioned that being the number 1 pick on day 1 of Wimbledon was a sigh of greatly she had fallen off. She then managed to lose and take over 100 people with her.
by ptmcmahon Before she got near the top of the rankings she was always my go to first round or two of slams (probably 9-10 times)...and she never let me down THEN, so I will never bear her any ill SP will.
by
Oploskoffie ptmcmahon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 09, 2021 7:44 pm
This thread shouldn't be 24 hours old without mention of Bondarenko.
Absolutely!
Not sure if Alona or Kateryna did more SP damage, but getting
BondarenKO'd was a thing once upon a time.
by ptmcmahon I think Alona was the worse one, although Kateryna stayed on longer and then knocked some people out who picked against her.
And can't believe I didn't clue in to the Bondaren-KO until now...
by
Omess Oploskoffie wrote:ptmcmahon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 09, 2021 7:44 pm
This thread shouldn't be 24 hours old without mention of Bondarenko.
Absolutely!
Not sure if Alona or Kateryna did more SP damage, but getting
BondarenKO'd was a thing once upon a time.
Oh yeah the glorious moment of the SP
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by Liamvalid CSN must have had some great moments over the years-or was it just me she used to torment?
by
JazzNU Liamvalid wrote: ↑Wed Feb 10, 2021 7:28 pm
CSN must have had some great moments over the years-or was it just me she used to torment?
Not just you. I think everyone who is a regular must have a CSN story.
by Drop-shot Pospisil at the USO deluded 100+ I believe based on warmup events. Lost in R-1 and took down like 30% of the pool.
by ptmcmahon I've had to mostly abandon it the last few years, but for the first few years I had a rule - if you see a Canadian in the list, pick against them. Rarely let me down.
by
sokol ptmcmahon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 09, 2021 7:44 pm
This thread shouldn't be 24 hours old without mention of Bondarenko.
The first name that came to my mind when I saw this thread.
by ponchi101 On this day, February 13th 2021, the Taiwanese player Su Wei Hsieh decided to treat everybody to a Chinese New Year firecracker but in special places. Mainly, their back-pocket, where the sino-petard blew up in the behind of 32 souls that felt that her style or, rather, her lack of form, would not be enough to deal with the powerful czeck Vondrousova.
Hsieh did not even break a sweat. A convincing 4 & 2 put to rest any hopes of survival for those that never thought that Taiwan is a land that specializes in dealing with much bigger foes (China). Hsieh's lunatic strokes are there to remind all amateurs of one simple fact: look at how she hits and then ask yourself: how come I suck so bad, and she doesn't?
32 people will wonder that forever.
by ponchi101 Numbers wise, the defeat of Felix Auger-Alliasime was not earth shattering. But it was the percentages and the way that the young Canadian led his pickers to the slaughter that makes him a worthy resident in our annals of infamy. With only 21 sorrowful souls alive in the pool, 16 put their hopes on him. And after an auspicious start in which he took the first two sets 3&1, many a player must have packed it for the night, ready to celebrate having reached the second week of the event. A glass of fine whisky or even wine would be more than justified.
76% of the pool would either contemplate in horror how that achievement would evaporate as the pesky Russian would simply not go away, or would read about it the next morning. Many would wake up to realize that their tennis soul had perished while they slept, while their subconscious machinated what brilliant next move would guarantee them silverware that now would never come. But no, Felix would cadaverically start missing shot after shot, until he had dug his own grave, on a hard court no less.
Again, 16 dead in an SP means little; much worse scenarios had happened. But the putridness of this loss will stench our quarters for a considerable while.
Until the next Galopoli happens.
by Liamvalid Karatsev must be included in this thread now, steadily taking out players left and right as the draw has progressed. He’s just taken out the Dimitrov pockets too to leave us with a winner
by ponchi101 He took out the Schwartzman's, then Felix's and the rest of the pool.
In going with the current theme for everything, he has been not like suicide, but like pestilence.
And indeed, he gave us a winner. In not a nice way. So his name shall live in infamy.
by ponchi101 In this year 2021 of the Lord and Pestilence, the Spaniard Roberto Enrique de la Caridad el Jabugo y el Manchego Bautista Agut took down a total of one quarter of the suicide pool, barely entering the second round of a Slam marked by the feverish delusions of a world raged by a real pandemic, and our little private space raged by the deranged dreams of people attempting to master this game.
Bautista Agut, famous as a tenacious competitor, went down meekly, with one meager set in his favor by a score of 6-3, while his opponent plastered him in the other three. A truly forgettable performance which would be indeed not worthy of any comments, were it not for the blood unnecessarily spilt by those that put their trust on him.
May his name live in infamy forever.
by
mmmm8 ponchi101 wrote: ↑Wed Jun 02, 2021 2:03 pm
In this year 2021 of the Lord and Pestilence, the Spaniard Roberto Enrique de la Caridad el Jabugo y el Manchego Bautista Agut took down a total of one quarter of the suicide pool, barely entering the second round of a Slam marked by the feverish delusions of a world raged by a real pandemic, and our little private space raged by the deranged dreams of people attempting to master this game.
Bautista Agut, famous as a tenacious competitor, went down meekly, with one meager set in his favor by a score of 6-3, while his opponent plastered him in the other three. A truly forgettable performance which would be indeed not worthy of any comments, were it not for the blood unnecessarily spilt by those that put their trust on him.
May his name live in infamy forever.
His new name, born in tragedy and bloodshed. RECeJeMBA.
by ponchi101 Sunday Bloody Sunday is both a historical occasion in the annals of the terrible Irish conflict, and a fantastic song, stemming from that same dreadful day, by the Irish group U2. The moniker, however, will now be a remembrance of this date in which a healthy cadre of participants entered the day, and were slaughtered mercilessly by the combined efforts of Sorana Cirstea and Vika Azarenka. Both gave plenty of hope to their pickers, as Cirstea took the first set to a tie break only to then do her disappearing act, and Azarenka actually won the first set and kept fighting to the end.
Marketa Vondrousova did one soul in, in another hard fought match, so the entire group of guppies that swam up this creek met a carnivore which was particularly hungry on this day.
May our souls be redeemed in future contests. Although most likely this will happen again.
by ptmcmahon I would have picked either of them today, but had already used both so “had” to pick Zidansek. Sbalenka losing earlier than I thought worked out.
by ponchi101 And to complete one of the bloodiest days in the history of this game, the Mighty Serena Williams also bit the dust, taking with her 4 more souls.
A day that started with 37 players, ends with 3 alive. Will they manage to limp to the finish line or will some other demon slay them in the coming days?
by JTContinental I missed the part where Cirstea won a set--FAKE NEWS!
by
ponchi101 JTContinental wrote: ↑Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:52 pm
I missed the part where Cirstea won a set--FAKE NEWS!
Embarrasing!!!
I meant "took the first set to a TIE BREAK", but as I was one of the victims, I will claim the tears in my eyes made me miss my proper spot.
I guess there goes any sort of credibility I have had in this forum
by Mrblandston Never, EVER pick Sam Querry.
by ponchi101 On a soggy and muggy London day, 30 naive souls went up the London Tower, metaphorically, to see a demonstration of how the ax and the block were used in medieval times. They were not aware that the exhibition would involve their necks, as the slightly built Colombian Maria Camilita Osorio Serrano decapitated them all by chopping down Ekaterina Alexandrova, heavily favored to win the match.
The largest bandwagon of the day thus met its demise.
Their bodies will be thrown into the Thames, left to float out of sight and stink the Atlantic.
by joanjettson What about Miss Double Cheek'd Tati? She once was a legendary goddess of fickle fate, but I do not recall her specific myth / origin story. (Or last name)
by ponchi101 On a muggy and rainy London afternoon, 30 souls were brought to the London tower...
No. No. The deja vu is so absolute. A young woman whose last name ends in OVA. 30 corpses. And unknown assassin. A good pick that went terribly wrong, like a young woman turning a wrong corner in a dark alley in the city, in the late XIX century, and finding that a Mr Jack and his knife were awaiting for her.
A terrible demise, 30 people in shock, as this promising young player lost to a Miss Raducanu, of British nationality but Romanian roots. Romania, land of the blood thirsty, famous count that has ideologically has struck once again.
The souls of these losers will be dragged, one by one, to an obscure Pub where they can drown their grief and sorrow. May them rest in peace or get completely skunk-faced, knowing that they did what was logical, but the twisting blade...
Damn, just ran out of dumb British metaphors. Sorry you people were slaughtered. We will join you soon, rest assured.
by
ptmcmahon joanjettson wrote: ↑Thu Jul 01, 2021 12:51 pm
What about Miss Double Cheek'd Tati? She once was a legendary goddess of fickle fate, but I do not recall her specific myth / origin story. (Or last name)
Tatiana Golovin. Career high of #12, but barely above .500 at the slams, including six first round losses. Don't remember if there was ever one huge incident with her..she just constantly let her pickers down.
A quick image search also shows lots of swimsuit, modelling shots...so could definitely question her focus at times (and perhaps that is where double cheek came from?)
by Improbabledream It should be called the Gilles Simon memorial hall of fame where you enshrine of all of those who have let us down.
by ponchi101 Did the Andrey Rublev loss to Marton Fucsovic qualifies as a great moment in the annals of the Suicide Pool? You be the judge:
4-1 record against his opponent.
Last three sets played were 2, 2 & 1, prior to W.
Fucsovics told Rublev "I don't want to play you again ever" after a recent loss.
Rublev went up 2 sets to 1.
The fourth set was a 6-0 drubbing, by Fucsovics.
And then he takes out 56% of the pool, by playing miserable tennis for two sets.
Yes, this qualifies totally as a putrid performance.
May Andrey Rublev NEVER win a slam.
May his name live in infamy.
May he go bald and fat at age 26
A curse on his house.
And may all of us, his victims, learn from this match. Do not trust this man with your tennis destiny every again.
by ptmcmahon The worst part... it's the day when the two halves of the draw merge and you can "relax" a little knowing you have extra picks.
by ashkor87 Lovely stories...
at RG, I was enticed and beguiled by the beauty of her name - should have remembered not to bet on someone playing her first major! I refer to, of course, the musical, sonorous Osorio Serrano..
by
ponchi101 And at the USO, Vs a guy called Griekspoor, Jan Lennard Struff decided to, once again, wipe out the largest wagon of the day.
28 souls fell, and fell, and fell. This was the stock market crash of 87, or some other NYC metaphor for people that simply did not know what on earth hit them.
The sole consolation? Well, really none, but you can bet that lots of more players would have picked Struff had they not died yesterday. It was a good choice, as he would have met Novak.
Pitiful. Let the Struff household be struck by the pox
20210901_160622~3.jpg
Saw an OG forgotten legend today. Playing in essentially a full leg cast - karma for the many SP lives she and her sister knocked out
. Despite going up two sets to one, Cameron was unable to close the deal and went under Down Under. Being a citizen of the UK, Mr. Norrie should be stripped of his citizenship and move to Australia himself, as that was the place where the crown used to send all its criminals.