Talk About Tennis 2.0

ptmcmahon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 09, 2021 7:44 pm This thread shouldn't be 24 hours old without mention of Bondarenko.

The first name that came to my mind when I saw this thread.

On this day, February 13th 2021, the Taiwanese player Su Wei Hsieh decided to treat everybody to a Chinese New Year firecracker but in special places. Mainly, their back-pocket, where the sino-petard blew up in the behind of 32 souls that felt that her style or, rather, her lack of form, would not be enough to deal with the powerful czeck Vondrousova.
Hsieh did not even break a sweat. A convincing 4 & 2 put to rest any hopes of survival for those that never thought that Taiwan is a land that specializes in dealing with much bigger foes (China). Hsieh's lunatic strokes are there to remind all amateurs of one simple fact: look at how she hits and then ask yourself: how come I suck so bad, and she doesn't?
32 people will wonder that forever.

Numbers wise, the defeat of Felix Auger-Alliasime was not earth shattering. But it was the percentages and the way that the young Canadian led his pickers to the slaughter that makes him a worthy resident in our annals of infamy. With only 21 sorrowful souls alive in the pool, 16 put their hopes on him. And after an auspicious start in which he took the first two sets 3&1, many a player must have packed it for the night, ready to celebrate having reached the second week of the event. A glass of fine whisky or even wine would be more than justified.
76% of the pool would either contemplate in horror how that achievement would evaporate as the pesky Russian would simply not go away, or would read about it the next morning. Many would wake up to realize that their tennis soul had perished while they slept, while their subconscious machinated what brilliant next move would guarantee them silverware that now would never come. But no, Felix would cadaverically start missing shot after shot, until he had dug his own grave, on a hard court no less.
Again, 16 dead in an SP means little; much worse scenarios had happened. But the putridness of this loss will stench our quarters for a considerable while.
Until the next Galopoli happens.

Karatsev must be included in this thread now, steadily taking out players left and right as the draw has progressed. He’s just taken out the Dimitrov pockets too to leave us with a winner

He took out the Schwartzman's, then Felix's and the rest of the pool.
In going with the current theme for everything, he has been not like suicide, but like pestilence.
And indeed, he gave us a winner. In not a nice way. So his name shall live in infamy.

In this year 2021 of the Lord and Pestilence, the Spaniard Roberto Enrique de la Caridad el Jabugo y el Manchego Bautista Agut took down a total of one quarter of the suicide pool, barely entering the second round of a Slam marked by the feverish delusions of a world raged by a real pandemic, and our little private space raged by the deranged dreams of people attempting to master this game.
Bautista Agut, famous as a tenacious competitor, went down meekly, with one meager set in his favor by a score of 6-3, while his opponent plastered him in the other three. A truly forgettable performance which would be indeed not worthy of any comments, were it not for the blood unnecessarily spilt by those that put their trust on him.
May his name live in infamy forever.

ponchi101 wrote: ↑Wed Jun 02, 2021 2:03 pm In this year 2021 of the Lord and Pestilence, the Spaniard Roberto Enrique de la Caridad el Jabugo y el Manchego Bautista Agut took down a total of one quarter of the suicide pool, barely entering the second round of a Slam marked by the feverish delusions of a world raged by a real pandemic, and our little private space raged by the deranged dreams of people attempting to master this game.
Bautista Agut, famous as a tenacious competitor, went down meekly, with one meager set in his favor by a score of 6-3, while his opponent plastered him in the other three. A truly forgettable performance which would be indeed not worthy of any comments, were it not for the blood unnecessarily spilt by those that put their trust on him.
May his name live in infamy forever.

His new name, born in tragedy and bloodshed. RECeJeMBA.

Sunday Bloody Sunday is both a historical occasion in the annals of the terrible Irish conflict, and a fantastic song, stemming from that same dreadful day, by the Irish group U2. The moniker, however, will now be a remembrance of this date in which a healthy cadre of participants entered the day, and were slaughtered mercilessly by the combined efforts of Sorana Cirstea and Vika Azarenka. Both gave plenty of hope to their pickers, as Cirstea took the first set to a tie break only to then do her disappearing act, and Azarenka actually won the first set and kept fighting to the end.
Marketa Vondrousova did one soul in, in another hard fought match, so the entire group of guppies that swam up this creek met a carnivore which was particularly hungry on this day.
May our souls be redeemed in future contests. Although most likely this will happen again.

I would have picked either of them today, but had already used both so “had” to pick Zidansek. Sbalenka losing earlier than I thought worked out.

And to complete one of the bloodiest days in the history of this game, the Mighty Serena Williams also bit the dust, taking with her 4 more souls.
A day that started with 37 players, ends with 3 alive. Will they manage to limp to the finish line or will some other demon slay them in the coming days?

I missed the part where Cirstea won a set--FAKE NEWS!

JTContinental wrote: ↑Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:52 pm I missed the part where Cirstea won a set--FAKE NEWS!

Embarrasing!!!
I meant "took the first set to a TIE BREAK", but as I was one of the victims, I will claim the tears in my eyes made me miss my proper spot.
I guess there goes any sort of credibility I have had in this forum

Never, EVER pick Sam Querry.

On a soggy and muggy London day, 30 naive souls went up the London Tower, metaphorically, to see a demonstration of how the ax and the block were used in medieval times. They were not aware that the exhibition would involve their necks, as the slightly built Colombian Maria Camilita Osorio Serrano decapitated them all by chopping down Ekaterina Alexandrova, heavily favored to win the match.
The largest bandwagon of the day thus met its demise.
Their bodies will be thrown into the Thames, left to float out of sight and stink the Atlantic.

What about Miss Double Cheek'd Tati? She once was a legendary goddess of fickle fate, but I do not recall her specific myth / origin story. (Or last name)