2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

Can you beat the draw? Just one measly pick a day...

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ponchi101 Venezuela
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2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#1

Post by ponchi101 »

Bienvenue mesdames et messieurs, bienvenue au café la guillotine!!!
This will be the place were, soon enough, all of you losers will drown your sorrows after another, 'ow you say, deplora..., disgusti..., uhm, terrible display of 'ow really you know nuthing about tennis on la terre bateau. Oui, here you will be after remembering too late to check for injuries, a 'orrible 'ead to 'ead record, or some other banana peel on la rive gauche that made you slip, fall and drown in Le Siene.
(Le Siene is that cesspool that runs through Paris, but never mind it).
Pardon our rudeness but, we are French. We, 'ow you say, tell it like it is and the reality is that most of you will be 'ere soon enough. So, why not take your time this week and enjoy our fine collection of cocktails and French wines? Oh, and do not pay attention to those rumors that our chef is a rrat. Our cuisine is tres magnifique; order the ratatouille and you will see.
Also, we do offer absinthe, the mythical poison, er, I mean, drink that can induce barely legal level of 'allucinations. It is the one that, it is rumored, led Vincent Van Gogh to cut one ear off, which is exactly 'ow you will feel after your pick loses 10-12 in the new fifth set TB at Roland Garros.
We will leave you for know with some music, but rest assured that we will, sooner rather than later, play LA VIE EN ROSE. Although we are actively looking for a version that says LA VIE EN ROUGE, because red is the color of this game. Red as in "you are dead". You know what we mean.
Now, if you can follow our maître di :ax he will lead you to your gallows, er, we mean, your table. Salut!
Ego figere omnia et scio supellectilem
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#2

Post by ponchi101 »

It is a terrible commentary that the best song about Paris was written by an American but, that's the way the croissant crumbles.
These garcons here play a good cover.
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#3

Post by ponchi101 »

As we approach our grand opening, we wanted to show you our new décor. We 'ope we did not overdo the red.
Berlin-Bar-680x453.jpg
That way, when the :ax gets to you, it will be easier to clean the floor :twisted:
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#4

Post by ashkor87 »

Only three things are inevitable in life- death, taxes and loser's lounge on SP..
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#5

Post by texasniteowl »

Well...day 1 out on WTA SP...I thought Li would beat van Uytvanck. I was wrong.

And I had Jabeur on my SKAN team. So much for that!

edit:
ponchi101 wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 4:19 pm Commentary.
Li. Drinks are ON THE HOUSE for you at the Cafe La Guillotine. Your player is up 6-3 in the first, and 3-2 in the second, and she retires. We have no news as to what happened to her, but, whatever it might have been (C19, a meteorite fell on her head, bubonic plague, some truly nasty spell, what have you) you just caught one truly bad break. Drop by the lounge; you need to drown those sorrows quickly. Like, right now :cry:
This makes it worse! I didn't catch it live so I didn't know the circumstances! 🤮
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#6

Post by JazzNU »

texasniteowl wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 5:12 pm Well...day 1 out on WTA SP...I thought Li would beat van Uytvanck. I was wrong.
If it helps, you were not really wrong. Li was up a set and a break when she was forced to retire with an injury.
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#7

Post by texasniteowl »

JazzNU wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 5:17 pm If it helps, you were not really wrong. Li was up a set and a break when she was forced to retire with an injury.
Do we know what the injury was? I mean ponchi wrote that she was up a set and 3-2 in the 2nd so did the injury occur during the match like did she roll her ankle badly and it was obvious or did she bring an injury into the match?
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#8

Post by JazzNU »

texasniteowl wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 5:21 pm
JazzNU wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 5:17 pm If it helps, you were not really wrong. Li was up a set and a break when she was forced to retire with an injury.
Do we know what the injury was? I mean ponchi wrote that she was up a set and 3-2 in the 2nd so did the injury occur during the match like did she roll her ankle badly and it was obvious or did she bring an injury into the match?
Not trying to sidetrack the thread, but it sounds like it was sustained in-match. Shoulder injury. Here's a link to a tweet from Ben about it.

https://twitter.com/BenRothenberg/statu ... 2850344960
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#9

Post by texasniteowl »

Thanks. That sucks for me. And someone promised free drinks. I'm partial to margarita's...so I'll take 2 please!
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#10

Post by ponchi101 »

Enchante, Monsieur! We prepare our Margaritas with a little twist of Grand Marnier or Cointreau. As you 'ave ordered two, we will give you one of each.
Drink, monsieur, drink. You 'ave deserved it!
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#11

Post by texasniteowl »

Magnifique! Merci.
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#12

Post by Chad1 »

ponchi101 wrote: Mon May 16, 2022 4:00 pm Oh, and do not pay attention to those rumors that our chef is a rrat. Our cuisine is tres magnifique; order the ratatouille and you will see.
You were right about KaRATsev, who put the "rat" in the ratatouille tonight, stretching it out all the way to a 5th set tiebreak <facepalm>

Free (though highly questionable) appetizers to anyone else who thought of the more recent movie in which the rat in Ratatouille was misheard (or perhaps "corrected"?) to being a raccoon when they read Ponchi's line about the cuisine :P
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#13

Post by shmrck14 »

Ugh, I deserve to be Karaseved. I had picked Munar and then lost my nerve, changed my pick and here i am

And I had Jabeur in the SKAN contest and used her path for my top choice in You' Can't Win Jack contest so I'd say I'm out there too.
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#14

Post by ponchi101 »

shmrck14 wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 9:34 pm Ugh, I deserve to be Karaseved. I had picked Munar and then lost my nerve, changed my pick and here i am

And I had Jabeur in the SKAN contest and used her path for my top choice in You' Can't Win Jack contest so I'd say I'm out there too.
...uuuuh, I say.... some absinth? On fire?
flaming_absinthe.jpg
Indeed, a rough day for your contests.
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Re: 2022 Roland Garros LL. Le Cafe La Guillotine

#15

Post by shmrck14 »

ponchi101 wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 9:44 pm
shmrck14 wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 9:34 pm Ugh, I deserve to be Karaseved. I had picked Munar and then lost my nerve, changed my pick and here i am

And I had Jabeur in the SKAN contest and used her path for my top choice in You' Can't Win Jack contest so I'd say I'm out there too.
...uuuuh, I say.... some absinth? On fire?flaming_absinthe.jpg
Indeed, a rough day for your contests.
Ohhh, that looks very nice and should sooth the pain some
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