Talk About Tennis 2.0

All you lucky bandwagoners squeaked through day 2, despite my hex. TMQ has vanquished another zombie, and 2 no picks leaves us with 131

The breakdown

Shelby Rogers 32
Ajla Tomljanovic 30
Alison Riske-Armitraj 14
Veronika Kudermetova 12
Caroline Garcia 10
Barbora Krejcikova 7
Madison Keys 6
Coco Gauff 4
Shuai Zhang 4
Beatriz Haddad Maia 3
Rebecca Marino 3
Harriet Dart 2
Leylah Fernandez 2
Ons Jabeur 1
Maria Sakkari 1

JT: WHEN are you going to start letting us know how much our picks suck already? We all are waiting impatiently....

nelslus wrote: ↑Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:39 pm JT: WHEN are you going to start letting us know how much our picks suck already? We all are waiting impatiently....

Hey, the first round just ended! Edition one will drop tonight.

JTContinental wrote: ↑Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:51 pm

nelslus wrote: ↑Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:39 pm JT: WHEN are you going to start letting us know how much our picks suck already? We all are waiting impatiently....

Hey, the first round just ended! Edition one will drop tonight.

Granted, the Trevisan comment was pleasant foreplay. Now, we all want our happy ending.

At long last we have concluded the first round, and now that TMQ has come down from the adrenalin rush from the Serena/Kontaveit match, we are ready to proceed! Nelslus has been eager to feast on your corpses all day, so let's set the table for him, shall we? But will his meal be DANK or STANK? Time to roll out the courses...

Martina Trevisan (13 victims) STANK This was the equivalent of lighting a $500 bill on fire, cutting it into pieces, and flushing it down the toilet.

Daria Saville (12 victims) STANK CONTROVERSIAL This would normally be a dank pick, but there had been rumors that Saville wasn't coming in at 100% healthy, so the best bet would have been to see how she did in a round before committing.

Sara Sorribes Tormo (4 victims) I'll award this a soft DANK because Sorribes Tormo should have won this, but it's also not surprising that she didn't. With her, Trevisan, and Siegemund all losing in the first round, the Holy Trinity of Hindrance Shriekers have all been relegated to being able to use their biggest talent only from the stands for the rest of the tournament (or maybe they will all be bellowing their way through the doubles draw; TMQ doesn't care enough to check).

Jil Teichmann (3 victims) STANK Sure she had the number by her name, but Zhang is a way better player than Teichmann even here at her worst slam.

Coco Vandeweghe (3 victims) STANK Not all Coco is created equal, and this one is so old and cold that it has that gross layer of skin on the top of it.

Nuria Parrizas-Diaz (2 victims) STANK Looking through the draw, TMQ has concluded that the only first round pick worse than Dalma Galfi was her opponent, who you picked, dear loser.

Kaja Juvan (2 victims) DANK TMQ feels nothing for this choice but since Bucsa had heretofore not won a grand slam match, will call it DANK, even though Juvan has stalled out a little this year.

Elise Mertens (2 victims) DANK Fun fact: Mertens has reached at least the R32 in every grand slam that has been held since the 2018 AO, so you are part of a milestone for her!

Elena Rybakina (2 victims) STANK CONTROVERSIAL TMQ is calling it as he sees it. You had enough of an inkling to realize that Rybakina was not going to perform well here despite her no stakes exhibition victory from earlier this summer, but should have acted on that impulse and just avoided this match altogether.

Bernarda Pera (2 victims) STANK This is your own fault for only dropping in during the grand slams, otherwise you would have seen TMQ and many others opining for weeks about how Pera was going to bow out in the first round here, so you will get no credit for noticing her giant summer victory tour, especially since at least half of those wins were on clay. She did make a 125 level final a couple of weeks ago, where she lost to the skin-on Coco in the final.

Marie Bouzkova (1 victim) STANK A solid pick since she won her first round, she just didn't do so on the day that you picked her.

Ann Li (1 victim) DANK Osorio is in general the better player, but TMQ can kiiiiiinda see the line of thinking here in picking a homer on the hard courts.

Diane Parry (1 victim) DANK It's still early in her career, but Parry is shaping up to be the type of player who will take you out of the pool whether you pick for or against her.

Tamara Zidansek (1 victim) DANK Mandlik is on the rise, but Zidansek has been seeded in most of the recent slams. TMQ has been trying to figure out for days why her last name isn't Mandlikova, but he clearly doesn't understand Czech naming conventions.

Sofia Kenin (1 victim) STANK Oh,child, bless your heart...

Jelena Ostapenko (1 victim) DANK Ostapenko believes that most of her losses are someone else's fault, so I guess this time it's yours.

Taylor Townsend (1 victim) DANK A feel-good pick, but she's still clearly on the comeback trail. By the AO she might be a solid bet.

And that's the buffet--equal parts sweet and savory it seems. Enjoy!

JTContinental wrote: ↑Thu Sep 01, 2022 3:25 am Coco Vandeweghe (3 victims) STANK Not all Coco is created equal, and this one is so old and cold that it has that gross layer of skin on the top of it.

Bravo! Although also a bit gross

Hi, the website is showing that Kalinina has withdrawn, so those of us who picked Kvitova for day 4 in good faith, are we OK?

Those Of Us Who Had Used Her The Previous Round Could Have Told You: Some of you chose an Alexandrova Too Far. Never again underestimate the powers of Brengle Disciple Lauren Davis.

I picked her. Then thought about it, and changed my pick.
Who, of course, will lose in another TB in the 3rd. We know how this works.

ponchi101 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 01, 2022 5:36 pm I picked her. Then thought about it, and changed my pick.
Who, of course, will lose in another TB in the 3rd. We know how this works.

Me too - we’ll have to wait and see if plan B was any better.

ozjohn53 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 01, 2022 3:31 pm Hi, the website is showing that Kalinina has withdrawn, so those of us who picked Kvitova for day 4 in good faith, are we OK?

This was a very last minute withdrawal (I was on the USO site at 4 am and didn't see anything about it, so I am going to allow it in this case.

Getting a bit of a late start this morning, so give me a moment catch things up and make them pretty.

We know there already was mayhem, with the Alexandrova crash. Now it is just a matter of how many souls went off that cliff.

I thought about picking Alexandrova, but I just couldn't bring myself to pick against Lauren Davis. I love her never-say-die attitude.

Today's band of miscreants included 5 no picks, 2 zombies, and 1 person who thought they'd just start playing on Day 4 and TMQ wouldn't notice, leaving us with 107 remaining

The breakdown:

Irina-Camila Begu 26
Danielle Collins 18
Ekaterina Alexandrova 16
Petra Kvitova 12
Victoria Azarenka 9
Alize Cornet 9
Yulia Putintseva 4
Alison van Uytvanck 4
Qinwen Zheng 4
Garbine Muguruza 2
Karolina Pliskova 2
Jessica Pegula 1