2024 WSP: Women's Picks & Results Thread

[JTContinental]

Round 1 is in the books! Wimbledon: STANK or DANK premieres tonight!

[JTContinental]

96 players to start day 4, after sweeping aside 2 very persistent zombies and 3 no picks. This number is very likely to change as the day progresses, as the bandwagon from yesterday is on very shaky footing at the moment.

Katie Boulter 34
Danielle Collins 11
Jelena Ostapenko 10
Beatriz Haddad Maia 9
Liudmila Samsonova 8
Ons Jabeur 7
Leylah Fernandez 4
Elina Svitolina 4
Caroline Garcia 3
Katerina Siniakova 3
Anna Kalinskaya 1
Barbora Krejcikova 1
Jessica Pegula 1

[JTContinental]

While we wait for a Round 2 bandwagon to crash, let's take a look at your Round 1 losing picks. Was your misguided selection as DANK as a slightly overripe strawberry marinating in a bath of fresh English cream, or as STANK as the muck-filled stalls where the providers of fresh English cream dwell? Find out now!

Sorana Cirstea (15 victims) STANK TMQ posits that at this stage of their respective careers, Zhu is actually the better player. At this time, we cannot recommend selecting any Romanian player in Survivor Pools unless you are looking to not survive.

Mirra Andreeva (6 victims) DANK Was this inevitable? Probably, and it happened spectacularly, with Andreeva snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Will it happen next year? Reply hazy on this surface.

Anastasia Potapova (5 victims) STANK TMQ had the misfortune of watching much of this match and not a single DANK thing happened on this court.

Qinwen Zheng (4 victims) DANK Zheng's confidence is spiraling down the drain since her AO final, and the extreme technical flaw in her serve needs to be addressed and corrected before she progresses any further.

Olga Danilovic (2 victims) A malodorous shout out to the STANKiest pick of the tournament so far. Selecting the lucky loser in an LL vs Q match defies logic in many ways.

Alison van Uytvanck (2 victims) This weak-ass DANK is quickly drying out, as van Uytvanck is heading out to pasture as Starodubtseva's star is on the rise.

Victoria Azarenka (1 victim) DANK Azarenka knew long before she pulled out that she wasn't actually going to play here--too bad that she didn't bother to let you know.

Irina-Camelia Begu (1 victim) STANK If Cirstea is a fragrant bleu, Begu is a Stilton

Sofia Kenin (1 victim) STANK No commentary needed here

Karolina Pliskova (1 victim) STANK There seems to be no bottom to Pliskova's precipitous freefall from the top of the rankings

Peyton Stearns (1 victim) DANK It's early in her career but Stearns is disappointingly streaky.

Lesia Tsurenko (1 victim) STANK No matter what side you choose from in a Tsurenko match, this is where you are going to end up

Marketa Vondrousova (1 victim) DANK A totally safe pick! The defending champ has only lost once before and it was a full 30 years ago--what could go wro--oh, wait.


Somehow, the bandwagon is still rolling...for now

[JTContinental]

Kostyuk pulls through after being down 4-6, 2-5

[patrick]

GB WTA number 1 crashed and 34 went along for the ride

[joanjettson]

Begu and Cirstea are obscure aliases for the Goddess of Death

[ponchi101]

I am really looking forward at the explanation of how STANK the Boulter pick was.
I mean, a dead dog floating down the Thames would be less nauseating.

[ptmcmahon]

I feel like already on Day 5 we are really squeezed in.. I see I'm not the only one who figured we needed to take a risk and pick Zhu tomorrow! This level of ranked players isn't even someone I'd probably normally pick on Day 1.

[JTContinental]

Day 5 dawns with 51 intrepid players remaining, along with 2 zombies

Lin Zhu 18
Madison Keys 14
Emma Navarro 6
Donna Vekic 6
Bianca Andreescu 2
Daria Kasatkina 2
Jasmine Paolini 2
Diana Shnaider 1

[JTContinental]

Round 2 edition of STANK or DANK later today!

[ponchi101]

Second day in a row that the bandwagon crashes. Yikes!

[joanjettson]

Well dun, Lulu Sun

[ptmcmahon]

Funny when the #61 player in the world winds up the biggest bandwagon on day 5. This game is strange sometimes.

[JTContinental]

There was a slight delay in round 2 of STANK or DANK as TMQ overexerted slightly in the oppressive West Coast heat wave today, but we are back on track to let you know if your losing pick was as DANK being caught in a refreshing early morning Wimbledon rain shower or as STANK as accidentally falling into the Thames. Find out now!

Katie Boulter (34 victims) A begrudging DANK given the gaudy H2H that heavily favors (or favours, since she's British) Boulter, even though she barely avoided being pierced by the Dart just a couple of weeks ago on the same surface.

Clara Burel (9 victims) STANK Did we perhaps confuse her with recent French Open R16er Clara Tauson? No matter, she lost early too.

Leylah Fernandez (4 victims) DANK Just when she lures you into thinking Fernandez might be back to her finals at the US Open heights, she pulls the rug out from under you time and time again.

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (4 victims) DANK TMQ originally planned to tell you that Zhu is superior on this surface, but we all know how that turned out, so never mind. Great pick!

Caroline Garcia (3 victims) STANK It's been two years now since Garcia has been a reliable choice in these contests, yet she continues to inexplicably entice victims into her death trap.

Katerina Siniakova (3 victims) DANK Her grass court season has been as untamed as her seemingly constantly electrified hair, so it's only fitting that it ends with a wild, topsy turvy loss.

Sloane Stephens (3 victims) STANK I mean, everyone except the three of you were surprised she won her first round match.

Jessica Pegula (1 victim) DANK She fernandezed you by winning a grass court title, but then reverted to her 2024 form.

Yuliia Starodubtseva (1 victim) STANK TMQ watched this match, and Starodubtseva looked shellshocked the entire time, and her body language was hangdog and tentative even when she was winning.

[JTContinental]

Only 28 players remain for Day 6 after two straight days of ill-advised bandwagons. Will Krejcikova take out the field today?

Barbora Krejcikova 12
Xinyu Wang 7
Jelena Ostapenko 6
Ons Jabeur 1
Liudmila Samsonova 1
Iga Swiatek 1