Talk About Tennis 2.0

mmmm8 wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 3:05 am

Deuce wrote: ↑Sat Apr 15, 2023 10:00 pm

ti-amie wrote: ↑Sat Apr 15, 2023 7:35 pm

Apparently he's a 26 year old crypto something or another and goes by 'the shark' on the crypto subreddit

Get a prenup Marta! Don't think with your hormones.

Yeah... She's just 20 years old - what's the rush?
The more I see from her, the more of a troubled individual she seems to be.

It's almost like she's living through a war or something...

Yeah, sure, all Ukrainians are obviously going through a very difficult time - but that in no way means that the decisions Kostyuk is making are healthy. Does an invasion of one's country typically prompt young women into impulsively marrying an older man who exists as his own alter-ego? Not that I know of...

As I stated above, I'm more upset with the people around her - like her parents, for example - for not helping to better guide her and encourage her to think more profoundly about her decisions (and the consequences thereof), rather than just acting impulsively as she is doing.

skatingfan wrote: ↑Sun Apr 16, 2023 3:04 am

JazzNU wrote: ↑Sun Apr 16, 2023 12:50 am

ti-amie wrote: ↑Sat Apr 15, 2023 7:35 pm

Apparently he's a 26 year old crypto something or another and goes by 'the shark' on the crypto subreddit

Get a prenup Marta! Don't think with your hormones.

So...is this like an online relationship? With the geotag being in Kyiv, so assuming that's where they are, but how often is she honestly there and he can't leave and travel with her, right? Seems highly suspect. Sure you can start a relationship online, but really hope she's spent some actual time with him and knows what she's getting into especially with the questionable financial footing.

Could be foolish young love - could the impact of the war - could be something else. The average age of marriage in Eastern Europe is lower than what we in Western countries have come to expect as normal.

Kostyuk will be 21 in a couple months. Other current tennis players who got hitched young - Ons Jabeur at 20, Karen Khachanov at 20, Taylor Fritz at 19...

meganfernandez wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 5:18 am

skatingfan wrote: ↑Sun Apr 16, 2023 3:04 am

JazzNU wrote: ↑Sun Apr 16, 2023 12:50 am


So...is this like an online relationship? With the geotag being in Kyiv, so assuming that's where they are, but how often is she honestly there and he can't leave and travel with her, right? Seems highly suspect. Sure you can start a relationship online, but really hope she's spent some actual time with him and knows what she's getting into especially with the questionable financial footing.

Could be foolish young love - could the impact of the war - could be something else. The average age of marriage in Eastern Europe is lower than what we in Western countries have come to expect as normal.

Kostyuk will be 21 in a couple months. Other current tennis players who got hitched young - Ons Jabeur at 20, Karen Khachanov at 20, Taylor Fritz at 19...

Yes... Taylor Fritz married at 19... and got divorced at 22.
Khachanov and his wife were dating for 5 years when they got married - they met when he was 14 years old.
And I doubt that Jabeur or Khachanov married a person who had a significant crypto-based alter-ego.

Having worked with many troubled people in my life, I still say that Kostyuk is quite troubled.

Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

I saw he is a former junior player.

I write this through my online alter ego I've lived through for 17 years.

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

Speaking only for myself, my 'assumptions' are based on 30 years of dealing with troubled people, during which my 'accuracy rate' of identifying troubled people based solely on fairly brief observance is extremely high.
Take it for whatever it's worth to you, but my 'assessment' here is very far from a blind or wild guess.

mmmm8 wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 2:04 pm

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

I saw he is a former junior player.

I write this through my online alter ego I've lived through for 17 years.

Yes - that's very 'cute' and 'clever' too some, I suppose... But I'd bet my house that your 'online persona' is far, far closer to your true persona (very likely very little difference) than 'Mr. Shark's alter-ego is to his true persona beneath the disguise.

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

It crossed my mind that it's another example of people assuming young women can't make good decisions and not giving women the benefit of the doubt as readily as we would a man. A 21-year-old man (let's say Jannik Sinner) getting engaged might raise eyebrows - it's young - but I don't know if people would have assumed the worst. Maybe they would wonder if he knocked up his girlfriend, I dunno. My niece got married a week after graduating from high school, and we were all shaking our heads - but 18 years later, she is still happily married with 2 kids and she got her bachelors degree in four years right after high school. It worked out just fine. People are judgmental.

meganfernandez wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 2:29 am

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

It crossed my mind that it's another example of people assuming young women can't make good decisions and not giving women the benefit of the doubt as readily as we would a man. A 21-year-old man (let's say Jannik Sinner) getting engaged might raise eyebrows - it's young - but I don't know if people would have assumed the worst. Maybe they would wonder if he knocked up his girlfriend, I dunno. My niece got married a week after graduating from high school, and we were all shaking our heads - but 18 years later, she is still happily married with 2 kids and she got her bachelors degree in four years right after high school. It worked out just fine. People are judgmental.

Agree - I was engaged at 22 after 4 months of dating, and only knew my husband 3 months before we began dating. We have now been married 37 years. My parents did not meet him until after we were engaged (and weren't too thrilled about me getting married so soon).

Also, people tend to make decisions differently in a war environment - your priorities change.

meganfernandez wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 2:29 am

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

It crossed my mind that it's another example of people assuming young women can't make good decisions and not giving women the benefit of the doubt as readily as we would a man. A 21-year-old man (let's say Jannik Sinner) getting engaged might raise eyebrows - it's young - but I don't know if people would have assumed the worst. Maybe they would wonder if he knocked up his girlfriend, I dunno. My niece got married a week after graduating from high school, and we were all shaking our heads - but 18 years later, she is still happily married with 2 kids and she got her bachelors degree in four years right after high school. It worked out just fine. People are judgmental.

Yup. Especially when, in general, it would appear that it takes males quite a bit more time to mature.

IN general, I tend to be of the school of, marriage and LTR's are tough enough. Why lower your odds by settling down so soon? And, certainly, with both tours, there have been plenty of example of broken engagements- and marriages.

LOL, speaking for MY own experience- when I think of my chosen gentlemen callers I canoodled with in my 20's and early 30's before I met John- the thought that I might have settled down with any one of them.... THAT does not evoke a picture.

Nevertheless- all one should do is wish all the best with these difficult love choices (except in my case- John is a peach).

nelslus wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 7:07 pm Nevertheless- all one should do is wish all the best with these difficult love choices (except in my case- John is a peach).

So maybe we should be questioning John's choices?

meganfernandez wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 2:29 am

atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Apr 17, 2023 1:45 pm Lots of assumptions here regarding Kostyuk from those of us who know little of her personal life. For all we know, they could be from the same town and have known each other for much of their lives.

It crossed my mind that it's another example of people assuming young women can't make good decisions and not giving women the benefit of the doubt as readily as we would a man. A 21-year-old man (let's say Jannik Sinner) getting engaged might raise eyebrows - it's young - but I don't know if people would have assumed the worst. Maybe they would wonder if he knocked up his girlfriend, I dunno. My niece got married a week after graduating from high school, and we were all shaking our heads - but 18 years later, she is still happily married with 2 kids and she got her bachelors degree in four years right after high school. It worked out just fine. People are judgmental.

But you do know. I get your point, but this just isn't true here and you have a great example to draw from where you don't have to guess at the reaction by using some hypothetical Jannik Sinner engagement.

I think a good deal of people would've wished Marta well had she posted the photo of her engagement without the location and with no information about him. Now she's been annoying the heck out of people, but in general, think It would've just been whatever, a surprise, but good luck and hope it works out. But we all know she hasn't been in Ukraine much at all, that it is highly unlikely he's able to leave, and then he's seemingly a bitcoin bro. It can definitely work out, but it shouldn't be surprising that people aren't sure what to think of him.

You gave 3 examples of players who married young. Two of them we were basically introduced to us as tennis professionals that were married, which is a bit different. The third received considerably more criticism and judgment than anything Marta is getting. Don't think this is about her being a woman, think it's about the additional details. The details were highly suspect in that instance and that was why there was so much discussion around him.

Very happy to those sharing their happy endings, they are great. But let's not act like we can't pull out bitter endings as well, for tennis players and examples from own lives. And let's also not act like the times we've been skeptical of tennis players' relationship announcements haven't played out as many of us basically expected.

skatingfan wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 9:09 pm

nelslus wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 7:07 pm Nevertheless- all one should do is wish all the best with these difficult love choices (except in my case- John is a peach).

So maybe we should be questioning John's choices?

I mean- haven't we all?

Nevertheless....We've been together for over 28 years. I must be doing something(s) right.

(PS: I won the lottery with John. And I know it.)

I remember when Fritz got married the consensus was that her father had a shotgun aimed at his head. Yes there are cultures where early marriage is encouraged (I'm not talking child marriage but marriage in the late teens/early twenties). If he wasn't a bitcoin bro maybe there wouldn't be so much concern by fans but then again we don't know anything about her other than her political/war related comments. Time will tell.

ti-amie wrote: ↑Wed Apr 19, 2023 6:26 pm but then again we don't know anything about her other than her political/war related comments.

Maybe she hasn't gotten a ton of attention on this forum, but because of her junior success in particular, she's not an unknown and one people have had their eye on for some time as a future top 10 player. So some of us have been following her since well before the war began. Not saying I know her as well as say Svitolina, but definitely doesn't fall into not know anything about her category either.