Talk About Tennis 2.0

And now 41 more people are worried as their gal is down a break in the third...ehhh boy

Now where did I leave my Dalma Galfi voodoo doll...?

Ekaterina squeaked it out!

Watching the end of that Alexandrova/Brengle match is torture. Alexandrova had 3 match points while Brengle was serving at 4-5. Then Brengle holds and breaks. It took 4 break points with Brengle servicing for the match at 6-5 until Alexandrova finally broke. Then in the super breaker, Alexandrova is up 8-2. Thinking....ok cool, I escaped. no. 4 straight unforced errors with the third point being a another double fault. What a stupid and unnecessary roller coaster watching this low level quality tennis match. Only thing that would have made it worse was if I had money on the line (which I did not).

91 UFEs by Alexandrova and survive that debacle. Ouch to the good on that one.

Surely she won't be going any further, right?

You never know. Maybe this was the day in which she played a bad match, but still squeaked it out.
And her opponent if Galfi. That is actually a match that I would say Alexandrova should win.

Navigating the rain has left TMQ with little time for anything else, but I'll finally be back tonight with our first editions of STANK or DANK!

Stank or DAMP? This time?

After 2 no picks, 48 players remain, anxiously awaiting their ticket to the Updated Picks & Results thread. (Edited) Middle Sunday will also NOT give your brain will also get a break from making these relentless picks from third round matches while the first round is still going on, because it's apparently not a thing anymore.

The breakdown:

Petra Kvitova 24
Ekaterina Alexandrova 7
Ons Jabeur 5
Madison Keys 5
Beatriz Haddad Maia 3
Anastasia Potapova 3
Mirra Andreeva 1

There is no Middle Sunday

And now without further ado, it is time for STANK or DANK: Wimbledon '23 First Round edition! There is so much rain that there is DANKness to be found in every corner of the grounds, but did it rub off on your losing choice? Or was it as STANK as a Wimbledon towel left on a court during 3 days of sold rain that then slowly dries and turns crusty? Find out below.

Karolina Pliskova (12 victims) STANK Pliskova's erratic play as of late makes her an unreliable choice even in the early rounds. Also, as TMQ is currently observing Stevanovic (current ranking 310) giving possible 2023 champion Petra Kvitova all kinds of trouble, this pick gets STANKier and STANKier, grand slam debut or not.

Camille Giorgi (11 victims) STANK Karma is a bee, and in TMQ's unsolicited opinion Giorgi also feeds at that hive...the tennis gods were bound to levy a heavy punishment on her for cheering winning a point via Venus falling, and TMQ found this match to be incredibly satisfying. Gracheva appears to be enjoying her new French citizenship.

Harriet Dart (8 victims) STANK Parry made the 3rd round here last year, and is the equivalent of two Harriet Darts in size, which made this an uphill battle for her. She does, however, possess an impressive grunt that sounds like a constipated banshee that I bet can be heard for miles. The town council is not amused.

Lucia Bronzetti (5 victims) DANK On paper a good choice since she made a grass court final at a decent tournament (although she was gifted a SF walkover from Swiatek).

Tereza Martincova (5 victims) DANK TMQ will also grant this pick DANK status, as Martincova has been a low seed in slams over the last couple of years and other than her lightning streak run a few years ago, Podoroska is not really known for winning matches.

Linda Noskova (4 victims) DANK It did not happen for the Czech teens at Wimbledon '23. Apparently Galfi is a former junior slam champion, so maybe one to watch?

Caty McNally (2 victims) STANK McNally kind of chokes at the slams, and I think she's coming back from injury. Burrage has had some very good results recently, and was the clear favorite to win this match.

Camila Osorio and Bernarda Pera (2 victims each) STANK Are you unfamiliar with the surface on which Wimbledon is played?

Liudmila Samsonova (2 victims) DANK Samsonova has a better grass court pedigree than Bogdan, but totally lost the plot in both tie breaks (Bogdan rolled her 7-1 in the first one, and she was actually up in the second set and blew it).

Coco Gauff (1 victim) STANK TMQ sends a bitter, bitter STANK your way, as he holds your glib, insidious pick personally responsible for ruining this tournament's enjoyment for him.

Karolina Muchova (1 victims) DANK Muchova is a two time QFist here, but Niemeier is no slouch on grass either, having made the QFs herself just last year. Muchova has been chronically injured; now that she's healthy maybe she'll put together more consistent results.

Jil Teichmann (1 victim) STANK How many times must TMQ declare that the Jil Teichmann-as-winning-pick era is over? At least 3 slams it seems. The Jil Teichmann era is over.

Carol Zhao (1 victim) STANK It is a rare player on the WTA that TMQ has never heard of, but here we are. We had to look up this person, and were surprised to discover that she is a relatively young woman with a "vintage" first name and not a 57-year-old court rat that annoys the rest of the tennis club with her 35 mph slice serve that just sort of lands in the service box and dies there.


Round 1 is in the books! It's raining (again) and I like to keep my public wanting more, so round 2 will have to wait until tomorrow.

patrick wrote: ↑Sat Jul 08, 2023 11:48 am There is no Middle Sunday

That's right--I forgot they did away with it last year. TMQ regrets the error.

JTContinental wrote: ↑Sat Jul 08, 2023 12:03 pm

patrick wrote: ↑Sat Jul 08, 2023 11:48 am There is no Middle Sunday

That's right--I forgot they did away with it last year. TMQ regrets the error.

Actually there is: https://www.wimbledon.com/en_GB/atoz/schedule.html

JTContinental wrote: ↑Sat Jul 08, 2023 12:02 pm And now without further ado, it is time for STANK or DANK: Wimbledon '23 First Round edition! There is so much rain that there is DANKness to be found in every corner of the grounds, but did it rub off on your losing choice? Or was it as STANK as a Wimbledon towel left on a court during 3 days of sold rain that then slowly dries and turns crusty? Find out below.

Karolina Pliskova (12 victims) STANK Pliskova's erratic play as of late makes her an unreliable choice even in the early rounds. Also, as TMQ is currently observing Stevanovic (current ranking 310) giving possible 2023 champion Petra Kvitova all kinds of trouble, this pick gets STANKier and STANKier, grand slam debut or not.

...

We knew her days of being reliable are over, but she was here in the final two years ago, and, as you say, Stevanovic's ranking is so low that if you do a general GOOGLE search with the words NOT AVAILABLE, her profile comes up !
At the very least, we should be upgraded to REEK, not STANK