2023 USOSP Women's Picks and Results Thread

[JTContinental]

I guess bookies haven't seen Marino choke before?

[PeterSkan]

I was very tempted. This was a good opportunity for Rebecca. In the end I couldn't justify the risk. Head over heart and I went with a safer bet.

[JTContinental]

Tune in tomorrow to marvel at the USO Round One Edition of STANK or DANK to find out if your losing pick is as STANK as the air in an outer court bordering the park, or as DANK as the stuff that's causing the smell.

[dollymix]

I picked Marino based on Tig's 1-5 record on hard courts this year (with the only win over a Brit who hasn't even earned a Wikipedia page yet, which counts for like a third of a win).

[JTContinental]

108 players remain after 2 more no picks today

Day 3 breakdown

Belinda Bencic 37
Victoria Azarenka 16
Jelena Ostapenko 14
Beatriz Haddad Maia 13
Sorana Cirstea 9
Lauren Davis 7
Danielle Collins 3
Jennifer Brady 2
Elise Mertens 2
Karolina Muchova 2
Magda Linette 1
Rebecca Masarova 1
Anna Karolina Schmiedlova 1

[nelslus]

JUST like the Townsend/Haddad Maia match- I wanted NOTHING to do with the Vika/Zhu match. The Azarenka pickers were in the wrong decade for this choice. Zhu is so talented.

Mind you, I could have already doomed myself. Any/all of the players I've already chosen could make a run in the draw.

AND, BTW- I want NOTHING!!!! to do with the next matches for my choice.

[JTContinental]

The people have waited long enough! Here is the R1 edition of STANK or DANK, where TMQ will dissect your losing pick, and deem it to be either as STANK as the tube of fish paste a woman was lovingly squeezing onto a cracker while sitting next to me the last time I attended the USO, or as DANKas the underside your ball cap after spending a day in the hot sun in the treeless grounds where the Open is played. And now it is time to do just that!

Rebecca Marino (19 victims) STANK TMQ is rarely shocked, but the fact that the bandwagon piled onto the back of Rebecca Marino, who until last year had only won 1 match here (she now has wins). On paper it may seem that Marino had the advantage, but in reality she is...less than a mental giant. With so many matches to choose from, her track record of choking should have steered you away from making this pick.

Donna Vekic (6 victims) DANK Whatever magic Pam Shriver has been whispering in Vekic's ear this year appears to be wearing off, as Vekic's results have tapered off. Nevertheless, she should have easily handled Vickery.

Anna Blinkova (4 victims) STANK Anna only won 1 match this summer against mentally shattered Zhang, whose matches are currently glorified walkovers. Burrage has had some decent results lately. But you made your choice, blinked, and your tournament was ova.

Elisabetta Cociaretto (4 victims) DANK Cocciatretto should have won this based on current form, but Juvan a tough out that has been ranked as high as 58 and seemingly working her way back up.

Alize Cornet (4 victims) STANK Cornet used to be a reliable first round pick, but I think the French players must have made a pact with the devil that has now expired, because none of them can win a match anymore.

Irina-Camila Begu (3 victims) DANK TMQ will award this a light dank since we don't know what a Tamara Korpatsch is.

Veronika Kudermetova (3 victims) STANK "My pick is so STANK I'm going to flush it straight down the toilet," you must have said before selecting Kudermetova, whose long, long string of early round losses includes one to a hobbled 43-year old woman.

Anastasia Potapova (3 victims) DANK Potapova has only had 1 first round loss all season, and lucky you, it was right here!

Kateryna Baindl (1 victim) STANK Did you have some inside information here? If not, choosing from this match was your first mistake. Also, Schmiedlova is the better player of the 2.

Madison Brengle (1 victim) STANK Of all of TMQ's years running these pools, this is the only time I can remember that anyone has ever picked Madison Brengle to win a tennis match. Now we know why.

Caroline Garcia (1 victim) STANK See Alize Cornet--Garcia must be the Supreme in this French tennis witches' coven.

Julia Grabher (1 victim) STANK Eliminated before the tournament even started, as Julia pulled out on the day of her match after the start of play. I suspect you want to Grabher by the neck and squeeze until she is a lifeless as you in this game.

Varvara Gracheva (1 victim) STANK She willingly joined the French coven earlier this summer, so must suffer the consequences.

Barbora Krejcikova (1 victim) STANK Big 4, my @$$ (is there an echo in here?)

Yulia Putintseva (1 victim) DANK Trevisan decides to win 1 match outside of the French Open, and you were the dubious beneficiary of her decision (TMQ Note: Trevisan's non-Roland Garros record has been exaggerated for comic effect, but not by much).

Maria Sakkari (1 victim) DANK? Sakkari is spiraling, but should have handled this match easily (although they went three sets in Spain this year). TMQ suspects Masarova invited her friends to hang out in the fringes of Flushing Meadows to spark up joints during the match.

Mayar Sherif (1 victim) STANK Zhu wins this match all day. She is at least a future top 20 player just waiting to break through.

Katerina Siniakova (1 victim) STANK Siniakova pulled out of a tournament last week with an injury, so she may not be playing at 100%--enough concern to maybe have picked from a different match.

Venus Williams (1 victim) STANK This match never happened

[ponchi101]

Alize Cornet (4 victims) STANK Cornet used to be a reliable first round pick, but I think the French players must have made a pact with the devil that has now expired, because none of them can win a match anymore.

Cracked me up.
But you are right. Right, FRENCH tennis relies on Mannarino. Which says a lot.

[joanjettson]

STANK as the tube of fish paste a woman was lovingly squeezing onto a cracker while sitting next to me the last time I attended the USO,

At my first USO, a woman sitting next to me was curling her eyelashes and shouting, "Is that Andre Agassi?"

[JTContinental]

Down to only 65 players after yesterday's bloodbath and 2 no picks. We also had a whopping 4 zombies, at least 2 of whom have played this contest long enough to know better. Please don't make picks when you know yours has lost just because I have gotten around to the reddening. It is an administrative headache.

The breakdown

Liudmila Samsonova 19
Karolina Pliskova 14
Madison Keys 12
Ekaterina Alexandrova 5
Elina Svitolina 3
Greet Minnen 2
Clara Tauson 2
Yafan Wang 2
Qinwen Zheng 2
Marie Bouzkova 1
Jessica Pegula 1
Lesia Tsurenko 1
Marketa Vondrousova 1

[nelslus]

I let Pliskova take me out of the Wimbledon Pool. No WAY was I gonna let that crone do that to me again. Pliskova is an automatic DNP. Out of fairness and Pool Compassion- JT and all moderators- I suggest never listing any Pliskova match again during any Pool.

[aidsasis]

I let Pliskova take me out of the Wimbledon Pool. No WAY was I gonna let that crone do that to me again. Pliskova is an automatic DNP. Out of fairness and Pool Compassion- JT and all moderators- I suggest never listing any Pliskova match again during any Pool.

I actually worried I picked her too early in the first round.

[ponchi101]

I let Pliskova take me out of the Wimbledon Pool. No WAY was I gonna let that crone do that to me again. Pliskova is an automatic DNP. Out of fairness and Pool Compassion- JT and all moderators- I suggest never listing any Pliskova match again during any Pool.

Due to technicalities, we must list them. Nothing stops us from listing them in red.
(no, we won't, sorry).

[sokol]

Will there be a thread for women's picks for Day 5?

[JTContinental]

Will there be a thread for women's picks for Day 5?

Apologies--I thought I had already posted it this morning, but did not actually do so. It is up now.

TMQ regrets the error