SIMPLE OUTPUT (Author and post)

by ponchi101 Sorry, a bit late. For the next two weeks, you people will come here reluctantly, but you will get here. Believe us. It works that way.
So, we will have ONE JOKE A DAY. And it will NOT be funny. It actually may be offensive. Just to take your head off the fact that you just got killed by some hideous animal (a tennis player) during the day.
Which makes us start with:

The immigration official questioned a man about his criminal history when he traveled to Australia.
Confused, he replied, “Oh, is that still required?”

Let us know what you want to drink.
by joanjettson I would like a pitcher of Sloe Gin Fizz in honor of being late with my pick and missing the women's contest entirely.

I'm also going to be that drunk loser at the end of the bar who tells you who he WOULD HAVE PICKED each round until he passes out in a pool of his own bar slop.

Ferrrnandeshhh....then Day 2....Mertenshhh >hick<...
by blomgren Tennisbrp and I are both out on day 1. Dead of calendar stupidity and failing to make any picks in time. Hello French Open!
by motobass Thank goodness for the YCWJ contest - I seem to be much, much, far better at picking losers than winners. Anyway, I'll try a bottle of a nice, Australian red wine.
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by ponchi101
motobass wrote: ↑Sun Jan 14, 2024 7:34 pm Thank goodness for the YCWJ contest - I seem to be much, much, far better at picking losers than winners. Anyway, I'll try a bottle of a nice, Australian red wine.
Take your pick ;)
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by texasniteowl So, I admittedly made a bad choice and am out on the ATP side. I'll take anything hot! It's currently 6 degrees Fahrenheit and snowing.
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by ponchi101 How about a special coffee liquor?
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by ptmcmahon
ponchi101 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 14, 2024 3:57 pm Sorry, a bit late. For the next two weeks, you people will come here reluctantly, but you will get here. Believe us. It works that way.
So, we will have ONE JOKE A DAY. And it will NOT be funny. It actually may be offensive. Just to take your head off the fact that you just got killed by some hideous animal (a tennis player) during the day.
Which makes us start with:

The immigration official questioned a man about his criminal history when he traveled to Australia.
Confused, he replied, “Oh, is that still required?”

Let us know what you want to drink.
I met a bloke from Australia who worked in I.T
I asked him "Do you come from a LAN down under?"
by joanjettson Drink 3 - a Zarazúa Spritz, I need some hydration!
by ponchi101
ptmcmahon wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 3:58 am ...

I met a bloke from Australia who worked in I.T
I asked him "Do you come from a LAN down under?"
Cracked me up :thumbsup:
by atlpam Half-cheeked on Day 1. I guess I forgot the rule about picking Chinese players. Thanks for nothing Xinyu Wang.
Give me a table outside and slather me with Blue Lizard sunscreen until my other cheek joins me.
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by ponchi101
atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 11:57 pm Half-cheeked on Day 1. I guess I forgot the rule about picking Chinese players. Thanks for nothing Xinyu Wang.
Give me a table outside and slather me with Blue Lizard sunscreen until my other cheek joins me.
How about just a plain blue lizard?
Lizard.jpg
by ozjohn53 Was alive in both pools but made no picks for today due to the frankly obnoxious replies I got from the TAT mafia when I called them out for their sloppiness. Good luck everyone left, you'll need it LOL!
by nelslus
ozjohn53 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 1:26 am Was alive in both pools but made no picks for today due to the frankly obnoxious replies I got from the TAT mafia when I called them out for their sloppiness. Good luck everyone left, you'll need it LOL!
....AND, this is what can happen when you lead with obnoxiousness. Sincerely Yours- The TAT Mafia :gorgeous:
by adicecream I am such a loser. I scrutinized day 3, couldn't decide, then forgot to come back and make my pick. I’m blaming the nap I took to be able to stay awake tonight in the US.
by atlpam
ponchi101 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 12:15 am
atlpam wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 11:57 pm Half-cheeked on Day 1. I guess I forgot the rule about picking Chinese players. Thanks for nothing Xinyu Wang.
Give me a table outside and slather me with Blue Lizard sunscreen until my other cheek joins me.
How about just a plain blue lizard?
Lizard.jpg
He’s cute - he can keep me company!
by nelslus ....WELL, in honor of my Pool choice of Bublik, who somehow always finds a way to look dirty and unsexy- I should be ordering a dirty martini. But, since I don't drink alcohol- just set me up with a burger and diet coke, next to something that is unclean and useless (and also not a current "presidential candidate", please.) Which is all we 21 Bublik choosers deserve. :gorgeous:
by texasniteowl And I'm now done on both sides. Martic lead 4-1 in the 3rd set and lost it.

Now I need sleep, so something to knock me out?
by atlpam I will leave my lizard friend to the sunny patio and move my double-cheeked behind into the air conditioning for the rest of the tournament thanks to Lajovic. My only consolation is that several other options I considered also went down in flames. A pitcher of ice cold, fresh squeezed lemonade, please, not too sweet so I’ll have an excuse for the sour look on my face.
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by ponchi101
nelslus wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 7:16 am ....WELL, in honor of my Pool choice of Bublik, who somehow always finds a way to look dirty and unsexy- I should be ordering a dirty martini. But, since I don't drink alcohol- just set me up with a burger and diet coke, next to something that is unclean and useless (and also not a current "presidential candidate", please.) Which is all we 21 Bublik choosers deserve. :gorgeous:
Healthy enough for you?
;)
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by ponchi101
texasniteowl wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 1:36 pm And I'm now done on both sides. Martic lead 4-1 in the 3rd set and lost it.

Now I need sleep, so something to knock me out?
Australian whisky. Three bottles, all for you:
Best-Australian-Whisky-Feature.jpg
lemonade.jpg
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by ponchi101
atlpam wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 2:30 pm I will leave my lizard friend to the sunny patio and move my double-cheeked behind into the air conditioning for the rest of the tournament thanks to Lajovic. My only consolation is that several other options I considered also went down in flames. A pitcher of ice cold, fresh squeezed lemonade, please, not too sweet so I’ll have an excuse for the sour look on my face.
I hear somebody here got some whisky. Maybe you want to sit with them?
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by nelslus
ponchi101 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 3:35 pm
nelslus wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 7:16 am ....WELL, in honor of my Pool choice of Bublik, who somehow always finds a way to look dirty and unsexy- I should be ordering a dirty martini. But, since I don't drink alcohol- just set me up with a burger and diet coke, next to something that is unclean and useless (and also not a current "presidential candidate", please.) Which is all we 21 Bublik choosers deserve. :gorgeous:
Healthy enough for you?
;)

Burger.jpg
.....NOTHING dirty and useless included with my loser's meal?!?!? I don't even know you. :gorgeous:
by Oploskoffie Picked Caroline Garcia against my own rule of steering clear of French players as long as possible. So, here I am. Poop.
by Oploskoffie Ah, and Tiafoe sees me double-cheeked within the space of two hours. What a way to start the day :cry:
by ponchi101 Yep, the ugliest side of the Aussie Open SP. You wake up to find out you are dead.
I picked Tiafoe with no confidence, so I deserve this.
4th day is not that bad, but also not that good. :cry: