I completely and absolutely disagree with you. In the 'it takes a village' type of approach, we all have a responsibility to help each other. And who better to help than one who knows the person very well?mmmm8 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:22 am1. It's not your friend's job to be your therapist. That's a HUGE burden to put on that friend (I've been that friend). They will now, if a really good friend, feel responsible for your mental state and it's a very heavy weight if the issue is serious. It's one thing to "share," it's another to use friends and loved ones for treatment of a potential medical issue.Deuce wrote: ↑Mon Sep 27, 2021 2:21 am I've always felt that a good, sincere friend can help more than any therapist - because the sincere friend's caring is genuine, and not conditional upon being paid money, not restricted to 45 minutes per week, etc., etc.
For those who lack such a friend in their life, perhaps a therapist might be able to help. But only if a good one is chosen, of course - and that's often a crapshoot.
2. Your friend is biased and untrained and may give you bad advice that potentially pushes you away from healing.
I am not saying that the friend should be forced or coerced to help. But if the friend is willing, and sincerely cares about the person, and there is mutual trust (as there is in any strong, sincere friendship), then that is a very big step toward being able to help.
I'm not talking about a 'medical issue' - I'm talking about psychological issues. As I've mentioned previously, one can be trained to deal with medical issues, as we are all very similar physically. But we are all very different psychologically.
I think that, because of the position you hold (which you've alluded to at times here), your perspective is naturally less than objective.
And I am obviously influenced by my own direct relevant experiences in the helping field, as well as by my observations within same.
A Friend is "untrained"?? How can someone who knows you and understands you intimately possibly be untrained? They have the entire relationship to draw on!
And if you claim that a complete stranger (therapist) is 'trained', then you must subscribe to the theory that there is a universal solution to every psychologically based problem - with which I also completely disagree.
We're not talking about stringing a tennis racquet - for which one can be trained, as there are only a few ways to do it efficiently.
Biased? Perhaps a friend may be biased - biased in favour of wanting their friend to feel better, and so they invest in that end.
Are you claiming that therapists are unbiased? Therapists are simply flawed human beings, as are we all. They, too, possess their own problems, judgments, prejudices, biases, etc. They are NOT perfect human beings who possess all the answers - though they are often held up to be, which can certainly be quite dangerous, as the client, not knowing the therapist at all, does not know what personal problems, biases, etc. the therapist may incorporate within their suggestions and advice. Thus the dangers of blind faith/trust I mentioned previously.
With a friend, the faith and trust is real and historically established, not blind.
In my (rather extensive) experience in the field of helping people, I have witnessed hundreds of times where 'professionals' (be they social workers, psychologists, guidance counsellors, youth workers, street workers, etc.) have helped people far, far more when they exit the restrictions of their profession and become personally and emotionally involved and invested than when they stay back and maintain a 'professional distance', which is obviously emotionally distant and very impersonal, as well as being very conditional (with things like time restrictions, monetary payments, etc.). While this impersonal, distant, conditional, cold approach may work for some (and I have seen it cause more damage, as well), it is my experience that the warm, personal, closer, loving approach works considerably better for the majority of persons.
"There are no experts in loving, no scholars of living, no doctors of the human emotions and no gurus of the soul. But we need not be alone; friendship is a precious gift, and all that we need do to see is remove the blinders." - Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson.